Just after breaking up, I often "accidentally" go down roads full of memories - Illustration: QUANG DINH
More than 20 years ago, I wrote a poem about my old love. At that time, I named it "Writing for the day of separation" with these painful words:
If one day I can no longer see you
Does not mean breakup, end
Life is busy, I know what to do to keep you from being confused with people
Happiness is not easily divided into seven or three parts.
Just like I will try to forget those days
Old street corner, I beg you every time I pass that way
Don't look back or you'll break old memories...
Because of those verses, I was ridiculed by my friends for being sentimental. According to my friends who are experts in love, I should forget and end it. Breaking up means each person goes their separate ways. Ending it means each person goes their separate ways. Why hold on and make your heart ache? Why be attached and make yourself and the other person feel awkward.
But feelings, how can you easily say forget and stop missing. I was haunted, missing the old image for many years, to the point that I thought I could shave my head and become a monk to stop thinking about life, to not miss it.
Strangely, when people encounter storms in love, they want to find some religious belief to rely on. At that time, we forget to rely on ourselves, love ourselves and control all our emotions.
After my first love, I still felt like I couldn't escape the sea of sentimental love in my second love. Because I didn't dare to face it, I chose to step back and silently observe. Many times, I wanted to meet them, calmly and comfortably like friends and acquaintances on the street, but I still couldn't.
Emotions dominate, leading to me limiting communication and visits, and also blocking social media channels to avoid seeing his figure.
But little did I know, many nights while wandering around on the road, I had gone down old roads without realizing it. Sometimes I was startled to discover that I had just driven past that alley.
In fact, there are many people who still maintain friendships with their exes. Perhaps they are brave and rational enough to face it without feeling embarrassed. Or they are civilized and mature enough to see that ending a relationship is not such a terrible thing. As for me, am I weak and sentimental in my own way of loving and thinking?
A psychologist friend of mine told me that there is no right or wrong way to deal with emotions. Everyone heals in their own way.
Some people are strong enough to face it head on. Some people choose to gnaw on their pain, waiting for time to erase it. But no matter what, you absolutely must not be negative with your emotions, mistreat yourself, or overreact to people from the past.
That friend also said that if you are not tactful and sensitive when connecting with an ex, it can easily lead to misunderstandings, which can sometimes be very unfortunate. Especially in cases where the other person has a new partner.
Involvement, interaction or clinging will unintentionally cause suffering for both and sometimes in return, it will be dangerous for yourself when the ex's new half is jealous.
There are still many good things in life out there. Somewhere on this Earth, nature is saving a suitable love for you. Be strong to escape the darkness, find the bright half that is waiting for you.
What do you think about yourself or your spouse still showing signs of missing your ex? Do you consider interacting with your ex to be normal? Please share your stories and feelings at tto@tuoitre.com.vn. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.
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